Thomas Leonard, one of the greatest self-development minds ever, offered that working for success was doing it the hard way. Environment, he offered, was a FAR more effective path to success, eclipsing effort nearly 100% of the time. Knowing that, there is one ridiculously easy way to improve your life: your relationships. Your relationships have a greater effect on your success than do genetics, education, or even motivation.

Your life is a reflection of those who you hang out with.

Time and time again it has been shown that we are most often an average of our five closest friends. If you are like most of us, how much you earn will likely fall closely to the average of what your five closest friends earn. Your dating or love life will reflect that of your five closest friends. Your level of education, your fitness level, your spiritual beliefs… all often fall well within the average of your five closest friends.

For the success oriented – those of us who want and are consciously working for better health, wealth and love, rather than simply seeing who you feel comfortable around or “click with” – the number one, most ridiculously easy way to improve your life… is to consciously select those relationships you would like to be your closest friends.

Your Time AND Your Friendship is an Investment: How to Pick Your Friends.

Your time is an investment – you are only given a limited amount; once it is spent it is gone. Invest in people for who you when you are around them. Only invest in people who believe in your abilities; and encourage you; who inspire you. “Surround yourself only with people that make you a better version of yourself, that bring out your best parts, love and accept you.”

It’s not your “job” to please, impress or win anyone. It’s only your “job” to just be YOU – so start by going inside and asking “Who do I want to be in this moment? How do I want to feel about how I handled this moment? How do I want to feel in the future about this moment? What do _I_ want?” Then work to do that – be the best “you” that you can be.

Stop:

• Giving energy to those who have less to lose than you, who aren’t going somewhere, who are not positive
• Tolerating people who do not treat you well. Period. Do not tolerate them for financial reasons. Do not tolerate them for emotional reasons. Do not tolerate them for the children’s sake or for convenience’s sake
• Stop looking to those least able to fill you – the emotionally stunted, the scarred or simply emotionally unavailable.

Start spending time with the right people:

• People you enjoy,
• People who are healthy emotionally and spiritually,
• People who genuinely enjoy, love and appreciate you,
• People who value you and your perspective,
• People who seek you out and want time with you,
• People who being around inspires and makes you feel more alive,
• People who not only embrace who you are now, but also who you want to be

Do Not Forget the Most Important Relationship

Lastly, do not forget the most important relationships: your relationship with yourself. While you are working on upping your friendship clique also begin upping your relationship with yourself. Even before you have built relationships with people who both accept you for who you are and stand where you want to stand, you can begin treating yourself in the ways detailed above.

Fall in love with yourself:

• Giving yourself what you need – money, security, care, love, acknowledgment, validation, affirmation and value – is so much more effective than waiting for others to give you these things.
• Obtain attention not because of victimization (pity) or feared weakness but because of your powerful ideas, passion and value.
• Give up comparing and judging yourself. The only questions are “What do I want?”, “What do I want to do?”, “How do I think it should be done or how do I want to do it?”, “Does that feel good?”, “Does that feel right?”, “Does that move me in the direction I want?” “Who do I want to be in this moment?”, “How will I feel in the future about how I handed this moment?”

Improve Who You Spend Time With, Improve Your Life

There is only one of you, unique in all the world. If you were simply a duplicate you would be unneeded; and that you exist is proof that you have something unique the world needs. What you most love doing is a clue to the secret gift that only you hold.

You were brought here to share what you most love doing; both because only you have the unique set of experiences, knowledge and traits you have to share; because those unique gifts give you your unique way with the world, and because the world did not have that before you; helps you to realize that the world needs your gifts.

Stop holding yourself back by maintaining relationships simply because of longevity, commonalities, or out of misguided loyalty. Rather than simply working yourself harder start with this ridiculously easy way to improve your life: Find healthy, quality, successful people who both accept you for who you are and for who you want to become and are able to take action to support that.