5 Steps To Defeat Perfectionism

Published May 17, 2022 by Mark Farmer in Spirit
Defeat Perfectionism
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We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism. For some of us, this might happen often. For others, it’s reserved for those special occasions where we have a project that feels connected to our self-image, where we can’t rest until we get it right. Here are your answers to defeat perfectionism!

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, when we make perfectionism a way of life – particularly when it shuts down your ability to share with the world – it becomes a problem. Those are the times where we finally need to take a breath and learn how to let go.

Start at the Core

Why does it feel so important you get this just right!? Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, are you just trying to impress someone else, do you fear less than perfection might mean you are “less than” or are you trying to meet expectations from those around you? None of these reasons is very healthy, all bring unneeded anxiety and worst of all: all shut down progress.

Drop the “Should”

Examine your self-talk. The moment you use this word in your mind or thoughts, especially regarding things you already feel pressure to get a certain way, you’ve begun driving yourself crazy. Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone else. Your own evaluation is the most important. And, if you are human, that evaluation HAS to allow for less than perfect to be acceptable.  You’re good just being you, with your own unique spin. Striving for a rigid, ubiquitous “perfection” makes your contribution – ironically – mundane. It is uniqueness that provides value, not carbon copies.

Rewrite the Script

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism? Do you think this is the path to success? Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome? Here’s where you switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes. Try such phrases as “Perfect is the enemy of progress,” and “Creativity comes from beautiful errors.”

Drop the Comparisons

Speaking of self-talk, who are you comparing yourself or your work to? And worse than comparing your own unique spin on things to some other person is the hopelessly unrealistic comparison to imagined perfection.  There simply is no thing and it is unique differences, actually, that create beauty.  Have your thoughts somehow gone from “I want to be more like them” to “Why can’t I do it exactly they way them do it?” Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now, the effort you’ve been putting into things and the joy of new creation!? Or are you somehow pretending that squashing your joy is good motivation? It isn’t. Allow yourself the joy of creation and uniqueness.

Show Some Mercy

Perfection never allows for being human. You torture yourself thinking that if you don’t do things “perfectly,” you’re automatically a failure. When you defeat perfectionism, allowing (maybe even embracing!) imperfection you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them. And oddly enough, you take off the reins from your creativity, joy and being able to be in the moment – EXACTLY the factors that will bring out the best in you and the work you produce.

It’s understandable that, if you’ve been a perfectionist in the past or find yourself doing it at times, the list above might challenge you at first glance. After all, you ask yourself, “is chasing imperfection actually possible? And, if it is possible… would it be worthwhile!?”

The answer is a resounding, “Yes!” Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right. It shuts down our creativity, our joy AND our best work; doing it negatively impacts our mental and physical health.

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go and enjoy creation, with all of its messy (but required) imperfection once and for all? Today, as you go through your day, remember these suggestions to begin your journey and defeat perfectionism!


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Mark’s deep coaching skills are profoundly insightful. As a coach who shows up fully and authentically, there is no stone he leaves unturned to help his clients see for themselves the highest future vision of themselves.


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