Shame Is Such A Powerful Force
Shame is such a powerful force. Many want others to be as ashamed as they are, so they spread it. One friend wants me to feel shame, telling me I have a lot of drama in my life. Several friends insinuate I should feel shame because dating as an adult is so messy or because I’ve found a few women to be strange or have issues on the first date (as though their issues somehow reflect on me). I crack a joke on a friend’s Facebook wall and her cousin, crazy with her own shame about the joke’s subject matter, attempts to project her shame on to me.
Me!? I’m tired of being ashamed of being who I am. Of being how I am.
This is me.
No, I’m not going to try to put on an act for you to protect you from your shame you feel when you see me living out loud.
YOU cringe that I say what I say!? That I admit life’s challenges out loud!?
Then run away and hide. Disconnect: There’s more than enough people in this world similarly infected as you are, thinking that… because you hide your real life, that your life isn’t as dysfunctional as the rest of us. If denial works for your shame (I don’t think it does), give it a shot.
But disconnect from me. Lord knows I’m disconnecting as fast as I can from those who can’t or don’t accept me as I am – the people who feel the need to try to “fix” me, those who are SO uncomfortable with my blunt transparency that they need to consistently turn it into a “joke” insult; the people who think they need to give me advice as if I’m some imbecile and don’t know how to live my life (and especially think that their reactions about what I post are reactions about me… and not their reactions to their own fears).
But I’m tired of being ashamed.
The advice is, “Start spending time with the right people: the people you enjoy; the people who genuinely enjoy, love and appreciate you, the people who seek you out and want time with you; the ones that value what you value about yourself; who inspire you and make you feel more alive; who not only embrace who you are now… but also who you want to be.”1
No offense: I’ll be clearing the clutter. Already have been, so that I can identify those people and look forward to being around THOSE people more this next year.
Here’s my life. This is me.
Whatever you want in life – to start a business, obtain a graduate degree, or find the love of your life – I’ve led thousands of people in reaching dreams just like yours. And I KNOW you’re capable of reaching success with the help of my coaching. Reach out now and I’ll even offer you the first session for free!
Mark is a master goal setter. He has done what he teaches… He wants you to succeed…
~ Dick McLean
Copyright © 2017, Mark Farmer
1 Quoted, from “30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself,” Marc Chernoff, retrieved 7/26/2021
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