I failed today and it felt great! In fact, I knew I could have tried harder, and it still felt great to fail.

Why!? Read on.

Today was “legs” day for my workout. I didn’t really feel like working legs (they’re big muscles that can lift heavy weights and that takes A LOT of energy! ). I was tired (not quite enough sleep last night). And I had other things on my mind.

“Other things,” just happened to be that I was coming from a friend of mine’s business. Seems my friend is doing quite well for himself. Impressive. REALLY impressive.

I, on the other hand, had some serious challenges that I’ve been facing down for the last 6 months. My business has gone NOWHERE as far as my friends…

And so I was thinking.

The thing was, I started to get angry. I mean REALLY angry. “Challenges” or no challenges, WHO THE HECK WAS LIFE TO TELL ME WHAT I COULD OR COULD NOT ACCOMPLISH IN MY LIFE!?

Anger can be good. It can be a motivator.

I loaded the rack for squats. (Squats is that exercise where you load a bar with weights, hold it across your back and squat down, then stand back up.)

I warmed up, body weight just to loosen up the knees and back, 135 pounds for 10 repetitions to loosen up more and then 185 to really allow my legs to get warm.

205 was the working weight. Three sets of 10 repetitions. It felt easy. It felt easy and I was getting madder. I get fairly angry when I’m told by “people” who are simply limited in their own minds what I “can” do and what I “can’t.” ‘S always been a pet peeve of mine ever since I was a child. Sure enough, if you’d like to get Mark to do something, tell him you don’t think he’s capable of it.

The thing was, this weight bar was staring me back and telling me what I “couldn’t” do.

The 3 sets at 205 were finished and it was time to move up in weight. Now, only 2 weeks ago I went for a “max,” a maximum attempt to find out exactly how much weight I could squat for 5 repetitions. At that time, 2 weeks ago, the max was 225 for 5 repetitions. Not bad for many. Not steller for me. But I was fine with it.

But the thing with weight lifting is… to get stronger.

Today had me going for 225 for 8 repetitions – 3 more repetitions than I was able to lift it for, only 2 weeks ago.

So I loaded the bar.

And the bar looked back at me and said, “You can’t do me 8 times.”

To which I replied, “To **** with you, nobody tells me what I am or am not capable of.”

And proceeded to lift it 8 times.

I felt great. Proved my point — more, I suppose to myself, than the bar, but it felt great.

The thing is, my workout said I needed to do this 2 more times: lift 225, 8 times, rest, then do it again.

And… the bar was still telling me I couldn’t do it.

Second time, I got 7.

7

Wasn’t good enough.

I reached the seventh repetition and when the edges of my eyes began going to black, you know, that sensation that you’re starting to black out? I put the bar down.

The thing was, I knew that I hadn’t tried my hardest. I KNEW if I had really tried, that I WOULD have gotten that second set of 8.

But I didn’t.

And

I still had one more set left.

And the bar was still telling me I couldn’t do it.

I looked around the gym for a spotter, someone to stand behind you to help you lift the bar, just in case you need the help. The problem is, spotting someone in the squat is a fairly complex thing – it really takes someone that knows what they’re doing, particularly when you’re squatting with over 200 pounds on the rack.

There just wasn’t anyone available. Of everyone there, there was only one guy that looked capable to me, of spotting me correctly. But he was in the middle of a conversation. And this bar was still looking back at me, telling me I couldn’t lift it 8 times.

“Look,” I told myself, “either you’re going to do it or you’re not…. and… if you’re not going to do it, if you’re going to wimp out, then just take the !@#$ weights off the bar now and move on to something that you CAN do.”

The bar looked back at me.

“Well?” I asked, “what are you going to do?”

“I can do this.” The answer came back at me.

Up onto my back the bar went. Two Hundred and Twenty Five pounds. Across my shoulders, my hands bracing it.

One.

Yikes, that was heavy. We’re going on my third set here…

Two.

Good, that was better. I can feel that. Nice and clean, you can do this.

Three.

Only a grunt that time, and that, only in my mind.

I was breathing hard. The grunts were loud and I’m sure more than one person was thinking I was making a bit too much of a show. But this was heavy. And this was MY battle. No !@#$ bar is going to tell me what I can and can’t lift. NO !@#$ person is going to tell me what I’m capable of and what I’m not…

Four.

Holy cripes was THAT heavy. Jeezus you should call that quits.

Quits? QUITS!? FINE YOU !@#$@# THEN GO SET THE !@#$ BAR DOWN AND MOVE ON IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT.

Uh uh. Not quiting. Fine. I was resolved.

More breathing. Prepare yourself, we’re going through with this.

Five.

Strong.

Six

Hard. Heavy. I CAN DO THIS

Down for the seventh and my eyes began going to black. My breathing was held and my legs were straining. I could feel the tension of 225 pounds trying to drive me to the ground and it just felt too much… and even though… even though… my mind faltered for just a second: and when you’re at the bottom and your mind suggests “forget it,” sometimes you give into the impulse.

Two Hundred and Twenty Five Pounds of metal came crashing down on the weight rack, clanging and rattling with a crash that brought the clatter of the gym to a halt.

A guy ran over to me as I crawled from beneath the weight rack angry and berating myself: I KNEW I could have made that repetition. I KNEW I COULD. It was just my mind that gave out.

No, I was fine. The weight rack held it like it should, and I know how to drop 225 pounds when I can’t lift it, so I don’t get hurt, BUT I KNEW IN MY MIND I COULD HAVE COMPLETED THAT REPETITION IF I HAD KEPT MY MIND CLEAR.

FAILURE.

And yet…

I lifted it 3 more times than I did only 2 weeks ago.

And

I KNOW I’ll be stronger in another few weeks.

Why can’t life be like that?

God, love weight lifting — where else can you learn all of life’s lessons, in a matter of weeks or years; and in so tangible a way!?

Failed in your relationship? Sure. Good. Now you know what you’re capable of. Work out hard, grow stronger and soon you’ll be able to do better in your relationships.

Failed in business? Awesome! You found your current position between the “can” and “can’t YET.” Workout and attempt a heavier business a little later.

Failed in school? Lift, lift, lift. You’ll surpass your “max” next time!

Why is it when we “fail” in life as it is, we are so ready to claim that it’s over. Why do we pretend there are so many things in life that we only get one shot at!?

We don’t. Whether it’s love or business or growing in our spirituality, we can grow stronger and attempt a new “max” later in life.

“Lifting to Failure” is a concept quite well known in weight lifting. It’s been shown time and time again, by science and experience to be a proven method of growing stronger.

So why allow this to be a principle only used in weight lifting!? Why not consciously go out and seek out your “failures” in life so you know what you’re capable of and where you need to work harder!?

Stop being so scared of failure.

If you can go and intentionally lift a weight to failure — to explore your limits and grow stronger — why not do it in LIFE!?

I can tell you I failed today.

I failed and I was thrilled that I did. I gave it my all. I found my current limit and I know that I’ll grow stronger in mind and body.

God I love life. God I love exploring my limits.

Anyone with me!? Anyone else ready to take a few sets to failure in LIFE!? There’s no worries. We know we’ll grow stronger. And we know that we’ll be able to lift more later.

Ready!? Load up the bar. What do you want to lift today?

Love and light,
Mark Farmer
Founder, LifeSuccessEngine.com

Copyright © 2001, Mark Farmer, Life Success Engine – the Engine Driving Your Life Success: http://LifeSuccessEngine.com

Permission to reprint to double opt-in lists and public Web sites automatically granted PROVIDED accompanied by this notice and live Web link to LifeSuccessEngine.com