You Are Not Who You Feel You Are
Your emotions may be based off of erroneous perceptions and always incomplete perceptions.
If you base your identity off of your emotions – feeling empowered, feeling disempowered; depressed; unloved – your identity is based off of transitory, perhaps erroneous; always incomplete PAST-BASED feedback.
That would be like basing your identity off of what you tasted… or saw.
WTF does what happens outside of yourself have to do with who you ARE!?
Yes, your emotions occur inside – but they are internal REACTIONS to EXTERNAL events.
Holding onto emotions from the past (for which emotions ALWAYS are) occludes what is happening NOW. It occludes the present. Further, it handicaps the process that you would prefer occur.
Certainly, that you learn from past events is true. But If you’ve got to hold on to those emotions from the past to keep reminding yourself of what happened… to remember what you need to do: YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED.
LEARN the lesson, then let go. If it is ingrained it becomes part of life so that you can PAY ATTENTION TO THE NOW.
Can you allow yourself to feel easily and deeply, but not found your identity upon your emotions!?
Who are you!? You are a combination of genetic baseline and desired outcome; enculturated behavioral and thought patterns, habit and even new thinking. You are your gifts, your talents, your aspirations and your dreams. …and so much more.
May 4, 2020
That’s great advice. I appreciate it!
May 4, 2020
Hi Odmaa, happy the article hit home with you. If you’re *really* interested in exploring letting go or, even better, setting a goal around that, I’d encourage you to post a new topic in the LSE forums (http://lifesuccessengine.com/forum/ ).
I’d also add in that “how” you let go may depend on the subject – letting go of a life’s dream because you believer yourself incapable of succeeding in it, might be very different than “letting go” of a loved one’s death or a bad day.
In general I’d offer that “letting go” is mostly about bringing your attention back to the present moment, the “now.”
When you feel a strong emotion or remember a strong memory, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. In fact, I’d encourage you to name the feeling: sadness? anger? self-pity? melancholy? Fear?
Allow that feeling to sink in a bit: where do you feel it? Heart? Stomach? In your throat? How do you feel it? Sharp pain? Dull ache? Vague twinge?
Feel the feeling fully. Then remind yourself that the event has passed. Tell yourself, literally, “I hear you. You feel [insert the feeling you've identified]. The situation that caused that is in the past and time has moved forward. I choose to focus on ‘Now.'”
Next picture a red STOP sign. Allow this imagined red sign to be your prompt for mulling over the past incident or feeling. Allow the imagined STOP sign to interrupt the pattern or thought you were focused on.
Lastly, use your 5 senses to ground yourself in the “now”:
– What do you see, right now?
– What do you hear, right now?
– Can you taste anything, right now?
– What do you feel right now? Even if only your own fingertips or the fabric of your pants.
– What do you smell, right now? Are there any scents in the air? Food? The smell of where you are?
This exercise will ground you in the “here and now,” helping you to move forward.
After performing the exercises above focus or refocus on the task in front of you or choose a task to focus on for at least the next 20 minutes.
Hope that helps. Post a new Topic to the LSE Forum about this and I’m sure others will pitch in thoughts and support!
~ Mark Farmer
May 4, 2020
Learning the lesson and letting go: that’s a piece of good advice.
But, sometimes letting things go seems extremely difficult. In that case, what would your suggestion be?